So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i dont even know how to be here
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
