I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
