why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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