Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
