No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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