You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
