dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
