Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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