Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize