Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
