My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm at about main and main street
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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