how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize