do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
