Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
