redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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