So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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