Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
