we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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