Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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