Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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