the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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