Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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