Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
