and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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