Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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