I faked an abortion last night.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
