Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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