I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
