I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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