the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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