You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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