**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
