Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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