hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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