i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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