Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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