hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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