An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
