I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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