Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
