I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
