why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
