i think my tv is drunk
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
