What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
