My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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