If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
