Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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