Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
