Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
