dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
