Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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