Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
