so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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