I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
