Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
