They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
