think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
