Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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