I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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