Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize