btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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