is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
