My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
