walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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